Spider-Man/Iron Man fanvids recapture the trauma of Avengers: Infinity War

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“Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good.”

Avengers: Infinity War is packed with traumatic moments, but the saddest scene remains Peter Parker’s slow death in the arms of Tony Stark.

If that scene doesn’t make your gut clench and your heart ache, the only plausible explanation is that you’re a monster. This is especially true when you take into consideration how much that moment represents for Tony Stark. Tumblr users have pointed out that Stark’s growth from the genius, playboy billionaire philanthropist into a genius, billionaire, philanthropist ready to settle down with a kid is one of the MCU’s greatest arcs. Stark, for a brief time, became a father figure to Peter Parker. He cared for, disciplined, taught and, inevitably, loved Peter like a son. Then the kid was gone.

It’s the type of emotional moment that could only happen after spending a decade with one character, getting to know him, and grieving his losses alongside him. That’s why an onslaught of recent fanvids (a term used to describe fan edited videos to focus on a specific story, ‘ship or character) is so cathartic. These videos are like tiny emotional releases that, in many ways, helps us come to terms with the trauma.

It’s easy to scoff at that notion; a character’s death wasn’t a traumatic event for most people, but to imply that longtime fans didn’t mourn the death of a beloved character is disingenuous. There’s a reason that specific scene stuck out for so many people. Tony Stark was just starting to become happy, to overcome his demons, to feel whole — and then one of the people he cared about most died in his arms. A boy that Tony swore to protect.

“And if you died, I feel like that’s on me,” he told Peter in Spider-Man: Homecoming. “I don’t need that on my conscience.”

Put all of these moments together, and the result is a Shakespearean tragedy playing out over the course of 19 films. That’s why these fanvids are watched — often over and over again — and why they remain important to the community. We’ve collected some of the best fanvids in this story. You may want to grab a tissue or something.